The Willderness Family: A Story of Togetherness

Join us this week as we welcome Ayla from The Willderness Family. From an unexpected delivery to milking a sheep for the first time, you're not going to want to miss this one. Throughout the episode, Ayla shares all the ways her family prioritizes quality time together. They are able to embrace a modest lifestyle and strategic budgeting so her husband is able to take longer breaks from a full-time job to make memories. Their story beautifully illustrates the joy and fulfillment that come from putting family first.

Ayla talks about life on their family property, where they intentionally avoid the traps of modern consumerism, choosing to spend their days together rather than accumulating material possessions. They weave faith throughout their from reading Bible stories to prioritizing, family worship and shared prayers. Ayla opens up about the importance of these moments and how they have become the foundation of their family’s routine, even amidst the challenges of busy seasons.

Ayla also shares about the transition into motherhood, offering advice to new moms who may feel isolated by the experience. She speaks on the importance of nutrition, exercise, and the  power of nature, providing practical insight to bring balance and a deeper connection with faith in trials. Join us for an inspiring conversation that explores the many aspects of a lifestyle centered on cherishing each moment together.

Chapters

• 0:06 Family-Focused Lifestyle and Homeschooling
• 12:18 Family Worship and Motherhood Advice
• 20:06 Finding Time for Jesus

Transcript

Cicily: 0:06

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Creative Mountain Mama podcast. This week I am joined by Ayla of the Wilderness Family. She talks about homeschooling, homesteading and quality family time. Thank you so much for joining me. Leigh, thanks for having me. Sounds like you had a big night last night. Can you share a little bit about what happened?

Ayla: 0:31

Yeah, so it actually started Saturday night. We had gone down to the river with the kids, then came back, and we live on a family property, so I've got my in-laws and then us, and then one of my brother-in-laws and his wife and their two little boys just moved here, so they had gone for a walk while we were starting our supper and then we looked out the window and my husband, landon, said oh look, they've got a sheep. So a sheep must be close to having a lamb. They've got a sheep, so a sheep must be close to having a lamb. And then I looked over my sister-in-law had a lamb and two little boys at the same time.

Ayla: 1:08

So that was quite a handful, but yeah, so we went out and these ewes hadn't been sheared yet. So she needed to be sheared a bit and she was terrified of this baby. She's pretty young and she had never seen one before, obviously, so she was freaking out a bit. So we finally got her held down and got him to nurse and sheared her up a little bit so he could actually reach her udder and yeah, so I was out. Well, actually the first night we milked her every three hours and then fed him with a syringe and these are Shetland sheep, so they've got the tiniest little udders and I had to milk with two fingers.

Cicily: 1:53

Brand new experience Quite the job.

Ayla: 1:56

I've milked lots of goats, but I've never milked a sheep with that tiny of an udder. So, yeah, and then last night my in-laws are still gone. They've been gone for a week, I think, unexpectedly, and they're coming back today, thankfully, because I was up, I think, every hour last night, pretty much making sure he was good. But yeah, he seems to be really strong and nursing properly and he's trying to run around and play, so I think he'll be good now. But yeah, it was quite the experience.

Cicily: 2:24

Little wobbly legs, do your kids. Absolutely love him.

Ayla: 2:27

They do. Yes, and they've named him Nacho because I had just made nachos and we were sitting down to eat them and then we ended up with very cold nachos for supper an hour and a half later when we came back in. So they figured that sounded like a good name for him.

Cicily: 2:43

So they figured that sounded like a good name for him. Part of what I love about what you encourage with the platform you have is family, family time being close to relatives and present fatherhood. Can you tell me a?

Ayla: 3:02

little bit about that as a priority in your life. Yeah, so my dad, he did his best, but he was he's always been a workaholic. So we lived on a farm and he was always there, but you can be there and not be completely present, unfortunately. So we spent a lot of time with him working on the farm and so we spent a lot of time with him working on the farm. But we didn't always get to be very close and I know it's not the same for all my siblings, but I wouldn't say we have the closest relationship. We're better than we were. But so that's always been really important for me and I knew that I wanted something very different for my kids. So thankfully, my husband is very much on the same page, want our kids to always have their dad around and obviously he has to work.

Ayla: 3:51

But we have been able to go through with our budgeting. We've been able to go through some seasons where he can take at one point it was three years, I think, just about three years off of work completely and every so often he would go do like some piece work he drove some gravel truck and stuff off and on that kind of thing. But just to have time just to spend together and be very, very present. For the kids and me too, it helps a lot, especially when the kids are little. It was very, very nice to have him home. Especially when the kids were little, it was very, very nice to have him home.

Ayla: 4:25

So, yeah, we we've had to plan. Usually it's taken three to four years to be able to plan out and budget out, to be able to do it, and we're actually about to start our second season of that, so we're quite excited about that. This summer we'll be our, we'll be back to no full-time work and lots of family time. So it'll be a big change again, but it'll be really exciting. It's been just over three years, I think, since he's been back to full-time.

Cicily: 4:56

And that isn't the case for everyone's job. Most people can't take three years off. But you spoke to budgeting a little bit. Could you dive a little bit deeper in how someone could make this work for their family?

Ayla: 5:15

Yeah, definitely I realize. Obviously most people can't just take big blocks of time off. That's not sustainable for the majority of people. It's helped a lot that we live on my in-laws property. That cuts out a lot of expenses.

Ayla: 5:40

Even without that, we've always made sure that we don't go out to eat hardly at all. Maybe if we're in the city for some shopping we might grab some fast food real quick or something, but even then we usually try to take our own food. So, yeah, things like that. I do a lot of gardening and canning usually and try to get as much bulk food and just bulk beans that kind of thing, just cook everything from scratch. We don't buy a lot of processed food and we have a single very old vehicle that is only used for work basically at this point. And yeah, so we don't. We cut out a lot of things and I know a lot of people would. It wouldn't work for everybody, but for us, because this is the lifestyle we want, we've learned to be content with what we have and make it very yeah, live on a very strict budget and be okay without having everything that everybody else does.

Cicily: 6:38

So prioritizing time.

Ayla: 6:41

Yes, quality time over things yes, definitely, quality time is something that you can't get back if you miss it. You could always have nicer clothes or something later, when your kids are growing up, and go out to eat, go on more trips, those, those kinds of things, but you can't get back that time when they're little. So that's what's been with us.

Cicily: 7:05

You pair that with homeschooling as well. Could you walk me through a day in the life?

Ayla: 7:11

Yeah, so we, our kids, have always gotten up relatively early. They're supposed to stay in bed till about seven, because they used to get up at five and that was a little much, so they're usually up. I get up about in this season I've been getting up about six, 30 ish and try to do my devotions. My husband's usually up a bit earlier than that, gets his things done and then he heads out to work and the kids are up around seven, sometimes a little bit earlier. So then they have breakfast, chores, that kind of thing, and then we usually try to. Doesn't always happen right away, but we usually try to do some workbooks first thing in the morning. So we've got math, reading, that kind of thing and we're more unschooling. So we have workbooks for some core subjects and then anything else. We just learn throughout the day and as we go about our day they actually learn quite a lot. So we do the workbooks. That takes maybe an hour, two hours depending on the day, depending how well people are focusing, and then we always try to get outside in the morning right away, usually right after school, for some sunshine, because I feel like that's that seems very important to me. So we're always usually out. We do 1000 hours outside, so we're out as much as possible out. We do 1000 hours outside, so we're out as much as possible and learning through all of that. And then in the afternoon, something that's been big for me has been quiet time, and I started that when the kids were done napping. So we do quiet time after lunch every day and it's about an hour where I usually read or get some things done and the kids used to be there in their bedroom. Now they can. Usually they go outside and they just play quietly or not so quietly, but it gives me some quiet. So that's been a big one for me. And then in the afternoon we end up either getting some chores done, do some baking or something like that Depends on the day. A lot of times we like to go for walks. We live quite close to the rivers so we've been spending a lot of time down there lately and they found a beaver lodge and salamanders and all kinds of things lately.

Ayla: 9:35

And then in the evening, as soon as Landon gets home, we start spending as much time together as possible. We are together all day, but then once he gets home, of course it's a little bit different. So the kids if he has projects outside, the kids are almost always with him helping with those. And then every second night we, the kids, call it Nancy night. We, the kids, call it Nancy night because it started with Nancy Drew. But every second night he takes them to their bedroom for probably about 20 minutes, half an hour, and they read a book. So right now I think they're on the Hardy boys. They did a few Nancy Drew and decided they want to try Hardy boys now. So that's been and that's another way that he makes that. He makes sure he's very present, he goes back and they read and they're always with him outside.

Ayla: 10:26

And then after supper we always have family worship. It's a big one for us. So we spend time together praying and reading, yeah, and then bedtime and trying to get everything shut down for the night. I try to clean up the kitchen and everything like that. But yeah, it's about how our days go. We have more of a loose rhythm, I'd say, than a strict schedule. We try to be pretty flexible, but yeah, that's about how it goes.

Cicily: 11:00

You speak a little bit about weaving faith into your day. It sounds like something that you're able to come back to every single day, so it becomes part of your routine. Are there any recommendations you would give for someone wanting to weave that into their daily schedule?

Ayla: 11:41

Yeah, I think I was thinking about this, trying to figure out so much a part of our life at this point I had to really think about it.

Ayla: 11:41

Actually, for me, I found that having my own quiet time, even if it's just like five minutes while the kids are playing depending on when they were babies especially, that is what happened and just five minutes to even read a devotional book or listen to a little bit of a podcast or something like that, and then just I often try to pray when I'm doing dishes or something, or just I think it's pretty important for me to just pray when I'm doing something, because I tend to get very easily distracted.

Ayla: 12:08

So if I just sit down and try to pray, I often get very sidetracked and find myself thinking about something or doing something. So if my hands are busy, that seems to help. And yeah, and then the family worship thing has been very huge for us. It's something we've tried to do every night since our kids were little and we do have nights where we miss it. We get really busy and don't get to it, but most nights it does happen and I think it's made a big difference in our faith and setting an example for our kids and just showing them how important it is to spend time with Jesus every day.

Cicily: 12:45

What does family worship look like? Is that like a devotional song that you put on?

Ayla: 12:50

Is it like an activity, yeah, so we've had. At the moment we've kind of gotten out of the singing part, which I would love to get back to. I know the kids have really enjoyed that, but we were in a pretty busy season lately. We just kind of cut that part out. But usually we read.

Ayla: 13:08

We have these big Bible storybooks and it's a set of I think about 11, 10 or 11 of them and it goes through the entire Bible. So we usually read a chapter of that every night. We just finished up reading about Moses and the Ten Commandments and building the sanctuary, so we do that and then we pray and we also like to sometimes talk about what we're thankful for and we just go around a circle and everybody names something they're thankful for that day. Just go around a circle and everybody names something they're thankful for that day. Sometimes you got to dig deep, but I think it's good for the kids to have to and us to think about something they're grateful for that day, even if it was just that it's bedtime Sometimes, that's it, but yes, so it's pretty basic at this point.

Cicily: 14:11

But yes, we also bring in songs and stuff quite often and, yeah, prayer and bible are our main points of it is that in addition to, I know a lot of people kind of do that around dinner, but this is separate from a meal.

Ayla: 14:16

It is time that you set aside yes yes we always have supper, and then this is usually pretty close afterwards. It's usually a couple minutes before bedtime. So depending on how long supper takes and when we get to it, yeah, it's definitely a separate time.

Cicily: 14:33

Winding down the day with an intentional hour? Yes, shifting gears a little bit, moving into motherhood, I think rocks everybody bit Moving into motherhood, I think rocks everybody humbles us all and I think it's kind of meant to. Is there any advice that you would give to new moms?

Ayla: 14:52

Yeah, I think the biggest one for me. A lot of times it feels like you're very alone, and that's how I felt. Our kids were all born within three and a half years and it was a lot. I love it now, but it was a lot and I didn't reach out and ask for help. And I think that's a very important thing.

Ayla: 15:13

I think it's we need to know that our family and friends often do want to help us, help us, and our husbands, our spouses, they want to if we're struggling, they want to know that and they want to be able to help us so that it's not so hard. I know my mother-in-law was a huge help. She didn't know I was struggling, but she was a huge help and she would bring over meals or she'd take my kids for a couple of hours and just give me a little bit of time to take a nap or a shower or something. So I think, yeah, I think it's really important to ask for help. I know it doesn't feel like it and it feels like we should be able to do this, because it just social media and everything often makes it sound like it's easy and they'll talk about the bad parts, of course, but it sounds like it's something we should be able to do and everybody's doing it without too many issues, but we need to be able to ask for help, and often people are just waiting.

Cicily: 16:17

Anything on any type of daily routine that helped you at the time or that you still implement now.

Ayla: 16:26

Yeah, so I've added more things since my kids were little. My youngest is almost seven. But one thing the things that have always helped me most are like staying hydrated, making sure I eat, because I tend to struggle with that. So making sure I eat and eating actual food, not eating what's left on their plates. We actually need meals as moms, and especially protein. That's something that I really struggle with.

Ayla: 16:57

Exercise I did a lot of HIIT and running when the kids were littler. I've gone more to walking, pilates kind of thing for the most part. Sometimes I do bring back a little bit of HIIT just because I kind of love it and it feels good. But for quite a season my body was happier with the walking and gentle exercise. And, yeah, even just a short walk. I saw somewhere that even a 12 minute walk I'm not sure why the cutoff was 12. But a 12 minute walk there's a something in your body is called glutamate and it's produced when we're stressed, and a 12 minute walk cuts that down by 29%, which is quite a bit sounds like. So, yeah, just short walks.

Ayla: 17:49

I used to take the kids, for I would take somebody in the stroller and everybody else on bikes quite often and usually end up with bikes on top of the stroller and everybody's sitting in it by the end, but it would get us out of the house. We did lots of walks like that and sunshine is really important for us, getting outside, especially in the morning. There's something about the morning sunshine that just gets your sleep and everything regulated. So morning sunshine is really important to us, and just as much fresh air as we can get. And I know some people think it's kind of woo, but I'm big into grounding and being outside barefoot, just getting as much of that as possible.

Ayla: 18:36

I used to think it was a little weird, but I noticed a huge difference in my mood when I've been outside barefoot a lot and, yeah, we all just feel better. And of course then we're out in the garden and everything too usually and it just, yeah, it makes everybody feels way better when we go outside. So if everybody's grumpy, we go outside. And also I know it's not possible for everybody, but if you have family and friends around, that makes a huge difference. Even I'm very introverted, but having somebody that I can just talk to or say, hey, can you take my kids for five minutes Sometimes we just don't get that time and it really helps to just, if we can, to utilize that and just have the support. That makes a big difference.

Cicily: 19:29

Yes, absolutely Actionable items that you can write down on the whiteboard and check off but really add to your day in a intentional way.

Ayla: 19:41

Add to your day in a intentional way yes, a list, instead of just saying, well, we need to work on our mental health, because that's what everybody says. But how do we do it?

Cicily: 19:56

So yeah, I think a list is helpful.

Ayla: 19:59

Are there any Bible verses that you lean on in hard times? Yeah, so there was one. One of my friends showed me a few years ago when I was struggling with finding time, especially just time to spend with Jesus, and I was having a really hard time finding time for worship, and she shared with me Isaiah 40, 11, and it says he will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will gather the lambs with his arm and carry them in his bosom and gently lead those who are with young. And I just really appreciated the gently lead those with young part because to me it feels like he understands what it's like to be with little ones and we can't always carve out big chunks of time. But he meets us where we are and he knows that we're having, we've got a lot on our plate, so he just meets us there and, yeah, that really that was right.

Ayla: 20:55

What I needed right at that time. I think it's the encouragement that I didn't need to spend an hour or two praying and reading my Bible every day. I could just carve out the time I needed to while I was doing something and it was okay if it was two to five minutes and not a big chunk of time. He knows your heart. Yes, he does.

Cicily: 21:20

Thank you so much, ayla, I appreciate your time. Yeah, thank you for having me.